Afro-Alchemist's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Test 442]

Juuuust me again. I really don't know what to say, because your seb games are exactly like this one. So really, just about everything I said there can be said here, the only this is that the player sprite is not so unsightly, since you did make it yourself. Everything else is completely the same, in fact I feel like you used the same collision size for the seb games, which now explains why you have it that I can have my character floating like I am still on a block and I am not. It was not because you sucked at making the collision size, it is because you are lazy. Which is even worse. I would ask "Do you even play test through these games?" but I know you had to because on the first two of these terrible games, you had a jump that you had be to pixels from falling off of a cliff to make a jump. Which in the seb games made it more ridiculous because due to your laziness, the character HAD to show the player that you made a terrible collision size for the player. So you did actually playtest them, you just did a really terrible job at thinking on how it would look to people who did create it. Which ended up being terrible.

In the seb games, I took note that I was able to do some kind of "wall jump" even though it was never said that you could, so I said it was most likely a glitch. After playing your first game that used a stick figure that could not have been yours, it actually indicated that you could wall jump, so I was thinking maybe it was a secret function that you added, which, if it was true, I could really respect. But then I played this one, and a tank wall jumping? Nope, that made me sure it was not a secret function, that even though you aren't exactly aiming for realism with your idle-moving sprite of a tank that can jump five times its height without any indication it is using some kind of technology for that, I am in serious doubt you placed a secret function like that for a tank.
There is also the bit of a fact that you had to press Up to go through the door, this problem is pretty minor, it does not take much to guess pressing up will have you go through the door, but somewhere on telling the player is a necessity.

And then the music, it did not take long before I had to mute my computer so that the poorly-looped music didn't not make it sound like I was grinding some metal on a grindstone.
Also, the lack of a screen saying something like "you won! Replay this game? Haha just kidding, why would you want to replay other than to see if this was not just some nightmare?!?"

This is how your games have been going:
1) (Stick Jumper) Decent stick figure, decent platform and background graphics, lack of game goals whatsoever, terrible everything else.
2) (Test 442) Decent single sprite of the player because it was from another game, terrible everything else about the character, actual somewhat goal, decent backgrounds I suppose, unstable music, terrible gaming experience, terrible everything else.
3) (Seb's Adventure) Just about the same as the one before, but even worse. Excluding the fact that the music was not unstable like Test 442, touching the door made you go to the next level, and there was actually an end screen. The single sprite of the player was atrocious. ET from the Atari is the good-looking brother for this one. The sprite's feet does not even touch the ground, the sprite can appear to be floating due to the collision of the sprite I already mentioned, the burger is not recognizable as a burger, and some other things I can not remember off the top of my head.
4) (Seb's Adventure 2) THE SAME AS BEFORE EXCEPT EVEN WORSE. AGAIN. The SINGLE sprite's legs were even further away from the ground, he would appear to be floating more because the sprite is smaller, but the collision size is the same for the tank and the previous game's person. And it is even easier than the previous ones, somehow.

From your first game to your fourth, in what I believe your games deserve you went from 1 star rating (Stick Jumper) , to .5 rating (Test 442) , to 0 rating (Seb's Adventure) , to "Why did you even post this?" (Seb's Adventure 2).
It should have been the other way around, you are suppose to learn new things, and master the things you already know when you make more and more games. You just grew lazier and lazier, it is atrocious. Really.
Don't think I am saying you should give up on being a game designer or anything like that.
Even though you are 10, it doesn't mean that your terrible games should stay on newgrounds. You being young should NEVER change the reviewers strictness, it should any change to amount of profanity used in the review.
But, because you are 10, it means you have a lot more time to learn and become much better than anyone older.

Instead of having the community of newgrounds test out your games you just whip out, have people you actually know give their honest opinions to tell you the many flaws of your games so you can retry until you make a game that actually deserves a 1.6 star at the least.
You probably won't listen to this, so you know, brace yourself for me for your next "game".

sebastian4ester responds:

I=<

[Stick Jumper]

Let's see...where to start... Well, I guess first thing is that I am now even more confused with your terrible Seb games. Nearly everything about those two games were horrible, but at least there was a goal to finish the game. Here, there is no goal, you just go around around jumping and falling and treating the "skeletons" as blocks that you use to give yourself more height or save yourself from a fall. But the stick figure player is actually decent. He is not just one sprite that can move, he can actually move his legs, indicate he can wall jump, "crawl", and appear as falling.
How did you go from "decent stick figure, lack of game." to TWO "terrible attempt of a stick figure, terrible attempt of a game (BUT AT LEAST IT IS EXISTENT...I guess)"?
My only real guess from this is that the stick character work in this game was not yours, and you at least had someone else make it for you, and then you just planted a bunch of across a large room.

Then the two god-awful Seb games were completely all your work and it is just terrible.
You just can't go from "decent stick figure, poorly thought process of everything else" to "terrible stick figure, terrible everything else"
You can only go from "Someone else's stick figure, did everything else yourself, ended up terrible everything else" to "Did everything, ended up terrible".
You know, if your stick figure in your seb games were using this stick figure, it would have been so much better. I would have actually rated it at least 1.5 stars.
Because let's face it, your games shouldn't really be on newgrounds with their quality. How this ended up with 4 stars is beyond me. This deserves a total of 1 star and gotten blammed through judgement, so you could have worked on a much better game that deserves 2 stars.
For some reason, you think you should make a third seb games. Good lord. If it is the same as all the others, you better prepare for another review like this, and you should also realize that just saying "I'M A 10 YEAR OLD KID", does not make your game any more deserving to be saved.

[Potato Run]

Really fun. Can be quite the classic, in my opinion. There is a problem that the rest of the world does not stop when you get the potato so the one(s) that end on the same platform with the other farmer(s) going around, they can kill you before you click the next button. The menu isn't exactly flashy, but it gets the job done. And I failed at getting past level 23. Oh well, my family can live off 23 potatoes until next time.

Anyways, even though the aerial momentum isn't realistic, it is great for platformers, if my guy didn't go into an almost immediate stop in the air, a lot of these jumps would have been incredibly harder. I love the sound of the walking, and the flow of movement just felt really nice and controllable. The music is nice, I heard it before and have been trying to remember from where, Jaltoid? If I did hear it from Jaltoid, I don't even know if that is where it originated from.
Anyways, this game is pretty fun, so I believe it deserves 4 stars.

If many more people have trouble with Level 23, with the beginning wall jumps with small room for error, it might be a good idea to make it a bit easier.

Meitnerium109 responds:

Thanks for the response. I find level 23 pretty easy, but some other people are having problems with it. I'll have to make it a bit easier so people can beat level 23.

[Seb's Adventure!]

ugh, alright, I did it, I played the first one of this trash series. People, since either the collision size of the block, or the collision size of the person is very poor, to beat the third level, you have get as far off the edge as possible, which will end up you being a tiny bit floating in front of the block.
But do you want a much better advice? Just leave. Give this game a 0 rating, and go play something else. You won't be wasting your time, and it will hopefully give this kid a clue that it is going to take more than an idle sprite, blocks, and a terrible collision effect to make anything close to a decent game.
The reviewers are either people who are actually reviewing and says this is crap, or just either a bunch of this kid's friends/ multiple accounts. There might be a few people that think they are doing this kid (yes, I have been just assuming the creator is a kid) a favor by saying this game is great, but you really are not. You can compliment him for trying, but still rate it at the max of .5 and tell him why it just is not good enough to be posted as an actual game so that people like me don't have to be rude and frank about it.

Now, I noticed that I can "wall jump", I don't think this was intended, but it also made me jump significantly higher. This game is actually better than its sequel, but it is certainly not even worth 1 star. Try out Game-maker, it can be quite simple while also getting into a bit more complicated things, while being somewhat free. I recommend using that to hone your game development skills for quite some time before trying to post up another game like this. But, as you are now, the games you produce can not be worthy of being a game with the others here, even though it is, because the people who are not doing this kid a favor and rating him really high up somehow managed this to go through Judgement.

[Travelogue (Demo)]

This was too fun. The second I left out of the starting town, I was instantly hooked and one hour flew by without me feeling it. The battling isn't exactly flashy, but everything about this makes me think of the kind of games that are all about choices and imagination. The music is pretty nice, the character portraits are really quire unsightly, the default was probably the best choice. I will definitely be looking for the full game of Travelogue.

[Seb's Adventure 2]

Sorry, but I am going to be frank about this. I don't know if this was a joke, and if Seb's Adventure is actually decent, but this is not. I always got to appreciate hand-drawn things in games, but if it is at the same level as if I tried to hand draw something in a doodle-seriousness mood, it is pretty freaking bad. I would give this a two, with all the horrible appearance this game gives, with the people, the words, and just about everything else, if the collision with the blocks were actually decent. I found myself pratically a block's length away from the block and will still be on top of it. I could have made a better game in 6 hours, anyone would be able to. I hope this is a joke, but if it isn't, just terrible.

[Clockwork Cat]

Really quite incredible, disappointing that it was this short, would never mind a second one. Everything about it was great. There is a bit of a glitch at the end. Once my cat went to sleep and the time-stat and credits were up, if I pressed X, another cat will come and go to sleep as well. I did it enough times that the Z's with the car are ineligible and his head would always appear to be up and down at the same time, but his eyes would move up and down.